CP 02915/en
Marcel Proust to Robert de Billy [between 8 and 11 April 1915]
102 boulevard Haussmann
My dear Robert
I don’t really like to compound feelings with practical questions. Also I do not want to speak to you about sorrows that have literally destroyed me since last summer. From the start of the war I have been living in a state of anxiety for all those I love (that is to say, when it all comes down to it, for those I do not know but whose suffering I imagine so vividly), but I can’t stop myself from being even more particularly tormented over my brother who has experienced terrible dangers in the Argonne, and I am particularly desperate about the disappearance of Bertrand de Fénelon[2].
Among so many thoughts that I want to share with you (and I also really want to know your impressions, your thoughts) it pains me to ask you a business question, which in any case can only be an irritation for you, a simple request for advice. My excuse for talking to you about business matters is that if you recall last summer I had a considerable “balance” come to term and a loan against securities and you can imagine what has come of it all since the war and in what difficulties it might be. You might perhaps be able to give me some good advice about a few of them. But it would take too long to explain and anyway at this moment we don’t really have the heart to talk about all that, our minds are much more on other things. The only advice I would like to get from you and that you have already obtained for me once but in a vague, non-committal way, just like Maison Mirabaud[3] would have given to a man on the street, concerns Doubowaïa Balka. I would like to know if their value, which has gone down considerably from the rate at which I bought them, shortly before the division of shares, is considered by Maison Mirabau[4] as excellent value, destined to regain the rates that it had before (I’m not saying the rate it was at before the war and which was already lower than many) or if on the other hand it would be wise to sacrifice them. In fact I bought it with a loan on securities[5], which is to say that it cost me 7% in interest, without bringing me anything. If their rates are sure to rise to any great extent it could be worth the trouble of persisting with them. I would welcome it if the Maison Mirabaud could give you precise details in this regard[6].
In the next few days I will be going before the military exemption board and there is every chance in the world that I could be “taken” when there are so many healthy people walking around[7]. I don’t want it to happen because I know how useless I would be and also that what remains of my health would founder before I able to complete my book. I have never ceased to be terribly ill since I last saw you and that is almost a consolation; one feels less ashamed of oneself than if one were happy and well when so many people are suffering and dying. But I would still prefer to be well and useful. My brother is at least; for the last eight months he has never ceased to be so for a second and often in tragic circumstances which has led to his name being mentioned in despatches[8]. Reynaldo is in the Argonne, probably not far away from Robert[9]. I would be very pleased to hear your thoughts on all this as far as you can. But as for the Doubowaïa it is on the contrary explicit advice that I ask of you, if you can give it, precise and sincere. Let me know how Madame Billy, your daughters, your parents, have got through these terrible months
Give them my respectful regards and believe in the tender affection of your
Marcel Proust
Présentez je vous prie mes respectueux hommages à Monsieur et Madame Barrère[10]. Et à Primoli s'il est à Rome[11]. Si je n'étais pas « pris » croyez-vous que je pourrais risquer un séjour à Venise pour ma fièvre des foins, à supposer que je fusse en état de quitter mon lit et d'être transporté, ce qui est douteux.